I met my husband in Walmart.
I was still new to the United States. I was in my late 20s and moved to Des Moines to be near my brothers after graduating from one of the most prestigious universities in Pakistan. I had a master’s degree, but I still wanted to know why everyone wants to come to the U.S. for education.
I started taking some interior design classes at the local community college. One day, I went to school, and for some reason, the class was canceled. On the way home, I stopped at Walmart. I just needed toothpaste.
I was standing in the shampoo aisle when this man approached me and asked if I could help him find some hairspray. At that time, I wore my hair down. I had a perm. He thought I was Hispanic. He was surprised by my accent when I answered, “I don’t use hairspray. The only thing I’ve ever used is mousse.”
He asked me to show him where it is. While we walked over to the shelves of styling products, he began asking question after question. “Where do you work?” “Are you in school?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Do you have a husband?”
He seemed pleased when I said, “No.” I found out that he was new in town and going to medical school. Then, he asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him.I don’t know why. It was totally against my culture and my religion.
The next day, I went to work in the fine jewelry department at Younkers. I was helping a customer, and I saw this guy walk through the door. I thought he looked familiar.
It was Rick, the guy from Walmart.
He said, “When I woke up this morning, the first thing I thought of was you. I just finished a test at school and came straight here.”
We kept talking. He asked me if we could go out on a date. I told him, “I am Muslim. We don’t date.” It’s not allowed. That concept does not exist.
When I came to the United States, I went to live with my second-oldest brother in Des Moines. Religiously and culturally, after my father, my brothers are responsible for taking care of their sisters, providing food and shelter and whatever else we need until we get married.
Rick used to make fun of people who tell stories about love at first sight. But after he met me in Walmart, he went back to school and told the guys in his class, “I just found this beautiful girl, and I am going to marry her.”
He didn’t know much about me besides that I was from Pakistan and worked at Younkers. And now he knew I was a Muslim, who couldn’t go out on a date, but that didn’t scare him away. He kept calling.
He asked about my religion. I asked about his. That’s when I found out he had grown up Presbyterian but had been atheist for over 20 years.
I said to him, “How can you not believe in God when you work on the human body? How can you look at those cells and organs and think there is no God?”
One day, he called me after his anatomy class, and it was like a light came on. He wanted to know more about my religion. We kept talking on the phone almost every day. He had some classmates, who were Muslims, and he started talking to them too and asking them questions.
He was gaining all kinds of knowledge that had nothing to do with med school.
This was all going on in just a few weeks when my brother happened to be in Pakistan visiting our dad. I told my sister-in-law first that I met this guy, and I didn’t know what to do. She invited him over for a traditional Pakistani meal, serving goat and biryani, a layered dish of basmati rice, meat and spices. It is very, very delicious. Rick seemed to really enjoy everything.
My brother came back, and I was scared to tell him about Rick because he is very religious. I kept putting it off, but then, my dad unexpectedly passed away.
He was like both parents to me because my mom died when I was only 5. I was working, and my brother didn’t want to call me there and let me know what happened. So when I got home from work, I was surprised and confused to see a bunch of my family members there... and Rick.
My sister-in-law invited him to the house to help soften the news.
That’s how Rick met my family. Afterwards, I finally told my brother that this man is in love with me, and I really like him too. Is that okay?
He said, “If you think it’s okay and he will take care of you, I am okay with that.”
That was a huge relief. I did not not expect my brother to react like that. But I like to think he approved because he saw me as an independent woman who isn’t afraid to take risks.
Rick started going to Friday prayer with my brother, and they became very close to each other. He did a lot of reading about Islam. A few months later, when I went to Pakistan to visit family for four months, Rick was worried I would not come back.
We talked pretty much every single day. He kept telling me, “If you won’t come back, I will come there.”
While I was away, he told my brother he was ready to convert to Islam and propose, but that’s not as easy as popping the question and picking a date for the wedding.
He had to go to my brother’s house with his mom and sister to ask for permission to marry me.
My brother began asking Rick all kinds of questions like, “Marriage is hard enough, but what about all of these cultural and religious differences? How will you overcome them? How will you take care of my little sister? Will you be able to spoil her?”
And this one was very important. I was the youngest of 10, and I was spoiled. Rick promised he would.
My brother called me in Pakistan and asked me if I wanted to marry Rick. I said, “Yes.”
Within a few weeks, I came back to Des Moines. Rick and my sister-in-law had made all the plans for the wedding. I think I just got over my jet-lag and got married on November 3.
We celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary earlier this month, and he still has that first bottle of mousse.
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Ode is a storytelling series where community members tell true stories on stage to promote positive impact through empathy. It is produced by Siouxland Public Media.
The next event is 7 p.m. Friday, February 3 at {be}Studio in downtown Sioux City. The theme is “Be Moved: An ode to transitions and transformations.”Tickets are available at kwit.org.
For more information, visit facebook.com/odestorytelling.
