BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. Who that? That's Bill Kurtis.
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KURTIS: And here's your host at the Saenger Theatre in New Orleans, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill.
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SAGAL: Thanks everybody. It is great to be back in New Orleans. We were last here in 2010 and we would of came back sooner but we needed the five years to grow new livers.
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SAGAL: Today we're going to be joined later on by Trombone Shorty, who...
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SAGAL: Yes. Like many legendary New Orleans musicians, was named by his parents for the instrument they hoped he would play.
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SAGAL: Mister and Misses Shorty say they are blessed that little Trombone took to that instrument. We don't care what horn you blow, just give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
KYLE PAIGE: Hello, this is Kyle Paige from Coyle, Okla.
SAGAL: Coyle, Okla.?
PAIGE: Yes sir.
SAGAL: Where is Coyle, Okla.?
PAIGE: Oh, it's midway between Langston and Perkins.
KURTIS: Oh. I know it well.
SAGAL: Yes. Yes. Why didn't you just say so to begin with?
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SAGAL: What do you do there?
PAIGE: Well, me and my wife raise goats for a living - dairy goats.
AMY DICKINSON: Yeah.
SAGAL: Really?
PAIGE: Yep.
SAGAL: You're a public radio listening goat farmer. I can't tell you how - what a cliche you are.
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SAGAL: Well Kyle, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to the panel. First up, it's the woman behind the syndicated advice column Ask Amy, Amy Dickinson.
DICKINSON: Hey.
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SAGAL: Next it's a humorist and author, most recently of "Alphabetter Juice," it's Mr. Roy Blount Jr.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: Hey. Hey, Kyle.
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SAGAL: And finally it's a comedian who will be appearing back here in New Orleans at the Civic Theatre on March 21, it's Paula Poundstone.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Hey.
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SAGAL: So Kyle, you'll start us off with Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis, right here, is going to re-create for you three quotations from the week's news. I bet you expected that. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will, of course, win our prize - the voice of our scorekeeper emeritus, Carl Kasell, on your voicemail. Are you ready to do this?
PAIGE: Yes sir.
SAGAL: All right. For your first quote, I want you to listen to this list of things that are none of your business.
KURTIS: Emails about planning Chelsea's wedding or my mother's funeral arrangements, as well as yoga routines.
SAGAL: Who was that describing all the emails that we shouldn't worry our pretty little heads about seeing?
PAIGE: That was Hillary Clinton.
SAGAL: It was Hillary Clinton. Very good.
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SAGAL: After more than a week of speculation, Secretary Clinton had a press conference and she said that she had handed over all of her emails to the State Department except for a handful of personal ones about, as you heard, you know, yoga routines, that kind of thing. By handful, she meant over 31,000 emails.
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SAGAL: More than half of them, she has said is personal and we won't get to see. That is a lot of yoga routines.
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SAGAL: To prove her point, she raised her left leg, put her foot behind her head and said, any questions?
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POUNDSTONE: I'm confused by what exactly took place.
SAGAL: All right. We'll try to work through it for you, Paula.
POUNDSTONE: Now she's saying she had one email address for simplicity, is that right?
SAGAL: Yes.
POUNDSTONE: But did she say she had two different something else's?
SAGAL: No, no. What she said was that she had used one email address, a personal email address, for both work and business because she didn't want to have to carry around two devices - like one for work and one for personal use. She said that basically it was - it's just too inconvenient to carry a second phone just for her personal affairs, to which her husband Bill said actually it's not that difficult.
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DICKINSON: Right.
POUNDSTONE: I, by the way, and I don't, you know, I don't like to speak ill of the former first lady in any way, but I carry two devices.
SAGAL: You do?
POUNDSTONE: I do. I carry a flip phone and an iPhone.
SAGAL: Why do you that?
DICKINSON: Well, Paula has a burner phone, don't you? For when you do like, undercover - yeah.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. No, just, you know, just so she knows that in - the future is brighter than she realizes. Which is that she will be able to carry two phones and it's not too big of a burden.
SAGAL: All right.
BLOUNT: You know, a flip phone was sort of cool.
DICKINSON: I know.
BLOUNT: Like those old Zippo lighters, you know - flip.
DICKINSON: Blam.
BLOUNT: Or a switchblade.
DICKINSON: Blam.
POUNDSTONE: I just carry a butcher's knife. Yeah. I use it both for cutting meat and for...
DICKINSON: Whatever.
POUNDSTONE: ...Street fighting. And seems to work for me.
BLOUNT: The same knife? I'm not having a sandwich at your - a roast beef sandwich at your house.
POUNDSTONE: I'm just not comfortable carrying two different knives.
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SAGAL: Kyle, here is your next quote.
KURTIS: This is just a disruptive, radical move by some of their extremists.
SAGAL: That was, believe it or not, a senior Iranian official talking about the disruptive, radical extremists that you will find where?
PAIGE: The U.S. Senate?
SAGAL: Exactly.
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SAGAL: That hotbed of extremism.
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SAGAL: Somebody determined to sabotage the U.S. government wrote a letter to the leaders of Iran telling them not to trust the President because the government here could go back on its word any time. And just like a horror movie, the call is coming from inside the house. OK, technically from inside the Senate.
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DICKINSON: Well, you know, I think we're - none of us are seeing like the bright side of the whole story, which is, you know, people are writing letters again.
SAGAL: Isn't that nice?
DICKINSON: I think that's lovely. Yeah.
SAGAL: It is true that like most of America was appalled that they would do this, except like the Postmaster General was going yes, we got one.
DICKINSON: Exactly.
SAGAL: These are the same guys that are demanding to see all of Hillary's emails 'cause, you know, what if she did something awful like writing to a foreign enemy trying to undermine her own government? That would be awful.
DICKINSON: It is pretty shocking. I mean, and aren't like some senators sort of backing away from it?
SAGAL: Some have. Well, this is actually true that they went around to some of the senators and they said why did you sign it? And they asked John McCain, why did you sign it? And he said, quote, "well, I sign lots of letters," unquote.
DICKINSON: No.
POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: You know, he just signs letters. Whatever's in front of him. Like he signed that letter saying he was the son of a deposed Prince in Arizona and he needed your help to get money out of the state. Or that letter he signed inviting Sarah Palin to be his running mate. He doesn't know what he's doing.
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POUNDSTONE: Really? He actually said that he actually said I sign lots of letters?
SAGAL: I sign a lot of letters. That's what he said.
POUNDSTONE: Wow. Yeah, that's not a good response.
BLOUNT: No.
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BLOUNT: Well, he comes up with a lot of responses.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I asked my son why he skipped his math class and he said well, I skip lots of classes. At the time I thought it was wacky logic, but I see now that there's a future for him.
DICKINSON: Right. He could be in the Senate. Yeah.
SAGAL: Very good Kyle. Here is your last quote.
KURTIS: You can take calls on your wrist, but only from members of U2.
SAGAL: That was a writer for NOW Magazine cracking wise about a new wristwatch that comes from whom?
PAIGE: From Apple.
SAGAL: Yes. It's the Apple Watch. Yay.
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SAGAL: Just eight years or so after Apple convinced us to give up our watches for smart phones, now they are introducing a watch. It's like if GM introduced the Chevy Horse.
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SAGAL: It has one horsepower. It's a horse.
DICKINSON: But wait, does it do anything other than like tell time. You talk into it? It's got apps?
SAGAL: You talk - well, it's sort of - it's sort of - it can show you maps. It can show you your texts you're getting. It'll pop up on the screen. It also - and this is true - it's apparently like this huge fitness thing. Like it'll constantly be tracking your movements and it'll help you stay fit.
DICKINSON: Oh, we don't want that.
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SAGAL: I will say that my $40 Timex also helps with fitness. When the strap starts to get too tight, I know I need to exercise more.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I was going to say, you know, this idea that it's going to help you stay fit is sort of absurd. You know, the truth is people - what they want to do is they want to know that when they were getting up to walk to the refrigerator, it somehow counted.
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BLOUNT: Well, but you have to consider that it weighs 48 pounds.
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SAGAL: The sad thing is it's really going to hurt us because the most exercise that most Americans got was constantly reaching into their pocket for their phones.
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SAGAL: Bill, how did Kyle do on our quiz?
KURTIS: True Oklahoman. He got them all right. Well done, Kyle. Congratulations.
SAGAL: Well done, Kyle.
PAIGE: Thank you, Peter. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.