BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Bobcat Goldthwait, Tom Bodett, and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill.
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SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill eats a bowl of rhymes as part of his complete breakfast in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Bobcat, new teaching standards in schools mean math class is getting really hard. Don't worry though, many districts have instituted special classes for whom?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Special classes for whom in regards to math?.
SAGAL: Yes.
GOLDTHWAIT: That's the question.
SAGAL: Yes.
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GOLDTHWAIT: Math is hard for students and they're having...
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SAGAL: Well, I'll give you a hint. I mean, you have kids, right? They've grown up now, but you probably had this problem when they were in school.
GOLDTHWAIT: Right. Oh, for the parents.
SAGAL: Exactly for the parents.
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GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah.
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SAGAL: The new core curriculum requires basic competency in all areas. But as we all know, human reproduction does not.
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SAGAL: So many parents confronted by their kids incomprehensible math homework are just flummoxed and are reduced to saying, I just don't know how many bunnies are there in that picture. In my day, we just said a bunch and we left it at that.
TOM BODETT: I'm sorry, I have a seventh grader now and I've started to hide when he pulls out his math homework. Seriously, I mean, he says Dad, Dad can you come look at this? And I'll look and I say, you should know that.
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SAGAL: What? You don't know that?
BODETT: Come on, you should know that. You don't need my help with that.
GOLDTHWAIT: If I show you, you're not going to learn.
BODETT: Exactly.
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GOLDTHWAIT: Teach a kid to fish.
SAGAL: The thing is, with this notion that you have to take math class again to help your kids, right? I mean, sex ed is no longer necessary. Just the math teacher will say to the kids, by the way, use a condom or you'll be back right here in 15 years.
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SAGAL: Tom, this week a bus driver in Egypt had to submit a urine sample for a drug test. He was told that he passed the drug test, but his employers expressed concern because it turns out he was what?
BODETT: A goat?
SAGAL: No.
FAITH SALIE: Goat is close if you think of kid.
BODETT: He was pregnant.
SAGAL: Yes indeed.
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SAGAL: The bus driver, you see, knew he wouldn't be able to pass the drug test, so he asked his wife for a sample and submitted it as his own, you see, very clever. And the the next day - this is all true - the officials called him and they said, would you confirm that that was your sample. And he said yes. And they said well, congratulations, sir. You're pregnant.
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SAGAL: And they fired him, but they did throw him a baby shower first because...
GOLDTHWAIT: You've just got a stick with the lie. He should have said, this is a miracle.
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SAGAL: Bobcat.
GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah?
SAGAL: There's a new ad for Direct TV in which the Rob Lowe plays a nerd, who among other things, can't go to the bathroom where there are other people in the room. This ad has offended many people including an advocacy group for whom?
GOLDTHWAIT: Nerds?
SAGAL: No.
GOLDTHWAIT: For the incontinent?
SAGAL: No, quite the opposite.
GOLDTHWAIT: For people who have bladder problems.
SAGAL: Specifically?
GOLDTHWAIT: Jeez, I don't know, urinary tract infections?
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: It's for people who have - who are embarrassed going to the bathroom in front of people.
SAGAL: That's exactly it.
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SALIE: It's shy bladder syndrome.
GOLDTHWAIT: Shy bladder, bashful kidney.
BODETT: Shy bladder?
SALIE: It's a thing.
GOLDTHWAIT: I have an extroverted kidney.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: It can't wait to go. It's like, hey, look what I can do.
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SALIE: I once was in a restroom with Glenn Close. It was just the two of us. And I - I wouldn't say my bladder was shy, but it was patient because I wanted to hear what the tinkle of a star sounds like.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: Really?
SALIE: So I sat on that toilet and I held mine until I heard an Academy Award nominee tinkle.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.