Lightning Fill In The Blank

Aug 4, 2018
Originally published on August 4, 2018 11:01 am
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, it's time to go onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Roxanne has 4, Alonzo has 5 and Adam has 2.

SAGAL: All right. Well, Adam, you are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill the blank.

This week, officials in China vowed retaliation if the White House went ahead with a proposal to impose new blank.

ADAM BURKE: Tariffs.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a judge in Seattle blocked the release of blueprints for creating 3D-printed blanks.

BURKE: Guns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Changing years of previous doctrine, Pope Francis announced this week that the Catholic Church was now wholly against blank.

BURKE: The death penalty.

SAGAL: Right. Following...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...A two-day meeting on Wednesday, the Federal Reserve decided to keep blanks unchanged.

BURKE: Interest rates.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, France banned students from using blanks at elementary and middle schools.

BURKE: iPhones?

SAGAL: Yeah, smartphones.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, "M.A.S.H." star blank revealed he'd been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

BURKE: Alan Alda.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A video went viral this week after it caught a man blanking in the mosh pit...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...At a music festival.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Watching Bigfoot porn.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Eating a can of beans.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The video, which was taken at the Milwaukee stop of the Warped Tour, shows the man headbanging in the mosh pit while eating a spoonful of beans straight from the can, all without missing a beat. Though the man has yet to be identified, fans assume they'll see him at the next Warped Tour stop in Canada because, just before the video ends, you can see him gather up his stick and bindle and hop a northbound freight to Ontario.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He went from third to first - six right, 12 more points - 14. That's the lead right now.

SAGAL: Congratulations. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Roxanne, you're in second place, so you're up next. Fill in the blank.

Following weeks of tension, President Trump said he'd be willing to meet with the president of blank to discuss a new nuclear deal.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Iran.

SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Facebook announced they had uncovered dozens of fake accounts tied to a campaign to influence the blanks.

ROBERTS: The 2018 and 2020 elections.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The remains of servicemen who served in the blank War were returned to the U.S.

ROBERTS: Korean.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Apple became the first company to be worth blank.

ROBERTS: One trillion.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a Spirit Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing thanks to blank.

ROBERTS: Passenger who passed gas.

SAGAL: No, a passenger's smelly feet.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Close enough.

SAGAL: No.

ROBERTS: It's about...

SAGAL: I don't think so.

ROBERTS: ...Smells.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In a press conference on Thursday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders refused to say that blank was not an enemy of the people.

ROBERTS: The press.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, CNN announced that they had enough footage to get a final series of "Parts Unknown," the show hosted by blank.

ROBERTS: Anthony Bourdain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in New Jersey say they're still looking for a man who handed...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A stickup note to a bank teller and then blanked.

ROBERTS: And then changed his mind and said he wanted to open an account.

SAGAL: I knew you'd know that. You're right. Yes.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to the teller, the man first handed her a note reading, give me all of your money. But, just a second later, he took the note back, told her he wanted to open an account instead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He then met with a customer service representative...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But he didn't have the proper ID, and he eventually left the bank completely empty-handed. Police say they haven't seen a bank robber this decisive since Clyde asked Bonnie what she wanted to watch on Netflix.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

SAGAL: Seven right, 14 more points, total of 18 - she's in the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many, then, does Alonzo need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Alonzo. Alonzo, this is for the game. On Thursday, the Trump administration revoked Obama-era blank standards.

ALONZO BODDEN: EPA.

SAGAL: That's close enough. It was fuel standards.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, an appeals court ruled that the White House couldn't withhold funding from so-called blank cities.

BODDEN: Sanctuary.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Carr wildfire in blank became one of the most destructive in the state's history.

BODDEN: California.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Trump took to Twitter to call the billionaire blank brothers, quote, "a total joke."

BODDEN: The Koch brothers.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After several people complained, Google said that a new update will stop Android phone from autocompleting the phrase sit on with blank.

BODDEN: My face?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, shares in Tesla jumped after CEO blank promised profitability in the coming year.

BODDEN: Elon Musk.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, cyclist Geraint Thomas became the first Welshman to win the blank.

BODDEN: Tour de France.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite the fact that his friend caught the whole thing on video, a man in Florida says he has no memory of entering a liquor store while blanking.

BODDEN: The problem is it's Florida, so...

SAGAL: Yeah. Could be anything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The possibilities are infinite.

BODDEN: Is this drinking?

SAGAL: No - while carrying a live alligator.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On the video, Jacksonville resident Robby Stratton can be seen entering the convenience store with a live alligator in his arms and asking if they sell beer. He then chases another customer with the alligator before grabbing a 12-pack and heading to the counter to pay. Stratton says he was so drunk that he has absolutely no memory of the incident, but he was happy to see that he was at least smart enough to let the alligator drive them both home.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Alonzo, take a victory lap. You've got...

(CHEERING)

KURTIS: ...Nineteen and a win.

BODDEN: Thank you. That was amazing. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.